Gay, muscles and a bottle of Protein.

Well, I will lie if I said that I didn’t feel the attraction, the need or rather say the necessity to improve my look. Muscular body, that was exactly what I had in mind, like many other gay men in the world -though, I will like to remark how many other aren’t really bothered by that.

The truth is that for a while I tried to beef up if I could say, though I would probably prefer to say that I chickened out, in the more realistic sense of my actions. Building up muscle is not a simple journey to the gym every day -of course, it does require at some point visiting the gym. But it also implies some other help- normally in the shape of a supplement. It’s true that I am not necessarily correct in my assumption, many of the gym-goers will contradict my opinion and reaffirm that it is possible to work out and get results without having to go into the chemical aid provided by supplement. Perhaps.

The reality may be slightly different to the idea of performing endless routines and sets until our hidden six pack appear like a box of beers in an Aussie Barbie. For many gay men, the external pressure to look like an action man lure them into trying creatine, protein and from there many other substances; some more dangerous than other.

The result, though, can be visible sometimes. Deformed or abnormal developed parts of the body shown off in some kind of freak show for the amusement of those willing to pay worship -yes, I admit I do like muscle men, but I always like to fantasize with those who you rarely see in the gay scene, like a builder in the most proper sense of it.

Still, I am anyone to criticize anyone for their aim to look different, if that’s what they want to achieve. Good on them!!

Myself, well, I accepted that my improvement won’t take me to the Mr Universe catwalk.

Newsround: Not Flash Gordon

In Politics, the public opinion is the master. If anyone wants to be in Politics, they should learn that rule from day one. Gordon Brown is fully aware of such a statement, he realises that the previous N10 occupant did not follow it and that could cost the Labour Party its Government.

Those citizens who disliked the way that Tony Bliar dealt with so many matters might feel tempted to vote for someone who has not embraced the Media circus or mingled with so many of the celebrities willing to shake hands with someone in high level of power.

The question remains, though, for it is hard to distinguish if the new look and attitude reflects a total change of policies of just a pro-election mood with a return to the arrogance attitude from the past.

Unfortunately for Tories, they position is quite the opposite and Cameron needs the attention of the Press and TV networks if he wants to achieve a change in the current House of Commons, though he is unlike to manage that by just putting a Superman costume and promise to save the world.

FETISHES

You may be forgiven for thinking that someone into any type of fetish can be some kind of pervert. Quite reasonable thinking if you have in mind some of the fetishes that people could get into, such a suffocation or pants sniffing. I am not against anyone into any thing weird as long as it does not involved harming anyone against their own will -even within the S&M.

But , the truth is that many are into fetishes that focus their life so much that it will damage their relation with other people.

I remember when I met a black guy a while ago and he told me that meeting people was a hard work for him. He was an attractive man and very pleasant to be with. The issue he raised was that men -other than those of black race- who came forward to talk to him, will mention their wish to fulfil the fantasy to be with a black man.

I am sure that could apply to those who are hairy and sometimes feel that they people they are with are more interested in being with their hairy parts of their bodies that with the person who is the bearer of that hair.

Fetish is good where it light up a undermined passion between two or more people. When the fetish is more important that the people, it makes me wonder how good that is for the person with that type of fetish.

GAY KISSING

I know I might not be the bravest person when it comes to kiss in public. Though, I have not been ashamed to do so in SoHo or in gay bars, or gay areas or as they are called nowadays, Gay Villages.

I do still not feel comfortable showing affection in such a way in any other places. I know, many gay men would say that I just have to accept the way I am and challenge the society in which we all live. Easy to say, not so easy to do, especially if anyone has to over-rule the intrinsic mental resistance that stop them doing so.

I guess the reason for all this deliberation comes from the innocent act of kissing between two straight teenagers in a bus stop in which I was waiting yesterday. The early affection game shown by these two people took me into some kind of reflection and I thought about how difficult is for so many gay men to be able to show their true feelings. Not because they don’t want to, but due to the inhibitions that we have as a result not just of our personal education but the fear of the reaction from those surrounding us.

I realised how much of the Society we need still to change. I know that I won’t necessarily be supported in this matter since, as I mentioned earlier, many gay men won’t agree with my attitude. I wish it was so easy for everyone. I am not shameful of what I am, but I acknowledge that there are difficulties to express freely all the range of feelings and emotions in public in the same way that straight people do.

Newsround: Who do we believe?

What’s Journalism? I feel like looking up the proper definition of the term.
The reason for my sudden uncertainty about what Journalism is, comes from the fact that I can’t understand why so many newspapers, television channels and other media networks have been so abrutly cruel to their audiences and readers.
Yes, I suppose I can’t help feeling really manipulated by the constant change of direction that the Madeleine’s missing is taking in the Press and Television. How we are driven to believe or dismiss this or that piece of information according to whatever new findings are published.
I wonder how can these Journalist be pleased with their work and the outcome that they deliver as a result of their articles or news programmes. Does it really matter what was the original purpose of the news in first place?
It’s true that Journalism is meant to keep us updated with what’s going on in the world and that could require some speculation. The problem I have with that is that it’s more to do with speculation than the real news.
Anyone who has been following the news recently may know that the pressure to accuse Madeleine’s parents has forced many to withdraw their support. Police might have reasons to present their case to the public opinion but it doesn’t help towards future legal implications.
Would any jury not be affected by any possible prosecution if the police find reasons for it?
Another fact we tend to forget is that, sometimes, parent may take the full blame-just because it’s easier to find them guilty. But, as it happened in Australia or in the U.K. , new developments and clues quite a few years later cleared accused parents of their supposed crimes. The problem was that Media has already held a court case and found a guilty person.

5 REASONS FOR … CRUISING IN THE PARK

1 HEALTH

All that hunting, chasing, bending, pushing, and running. Who needs to go a gym when you do cruising instead.

2 SPATIAL AWARENESS

In order to keep up track of your targets, those unwanted by-passers, valuables, dog-walkers. Better than playing videogames and more realistic.

3 GET IN TOUCH WITH NATURE

All those big green areas, those dense forests and big parks. Who can resist the temption to watch the animals in their own enviroment?

4 SOCIALISING

Have anyone checked how many numbers on their mobile phone books are from people who you met while cruising? How about those odd conversations about people’s ratings?

5 STAMINA

Well, sex is a good way to get all those benign chemicals released in our bodies.

CLUEDO, MEDIA AND THE McCANNS

If I said just a few days ago that Portuguese police was kind of messy in the way they dealt with the Madeleine missing case, today I have to confirm my fears that the missing girl matter now is some kind of media Cluedo. Each news leak, each comment by the official family speakers, each time something happen, we all look at our Cluedo cards and take a new guess on who might have been the murderer. It’s not a funny thought, I know, but I can’t help feeling stupid to a point that I can’t be sure who I want to believe.

It couldn’t be the parents, I heard from friends. Fair enough, I want to believe so as well, but it won’t be the first neither the last time that the “butler” did it as in Agatha Christie novel.

Even the Pope seems to play the game since some news from Spanish television commented the fact that the Vatican removed the photos places in its website in which the Pope met the McCanns.

What it really annoys about the media cover of Madeleine’s disappearance is that all the newspapers, television networks and radio stations forget that there are far more than just one child missing. There are tens and tens of them who hardly get any front page or even a mention in any of this Media. Those are the one who we should try to help, too.

As for Madeleine, I just hope I will get to know what happen to her -not so much for the morbid sensationalist approach but because many of us wish her a happy return, if hope is still there.